my never ending excuses

It started with just one. A sip.
I think it started with my dad. Probably;
The blame game had begun, the sip
Into oblivion. The bliss and the ecstasy.
A sip or two will not vanquish the flame
Not put out even a tiny fire;
Not cause me suddenly to forget my name
Or turn me into a liar.
A sip can not do this - it has no power.
It is a sip. A small insignificant swallow
Even if I sip for an hour
It could never leave me drunk of hollow.

It began when I was about two. A sip.
As the fear of life dawned on me.
The alcoholic had just let rip
And promised to set me free.
I knew one or two would not hurt;
Life mapped out like a long road
Just cling to the tails of my shirt
I'll take the heavy prickly load.
One sip to steady my nerves
As I stare life full in the eye
Watching all the perilous swerves
One sip won't cause me to die.